


Not Wasted

by LogLady (OodLaLa)



Series: Endgame Therapy [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Gen, Not A Fix-It, Self-Indulgent, Spoilers, proof read but unbeta'd, writing my feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 12:44:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18623545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OodLaLa/pseuds/LogLady
Summary: Nothing Tony Stark has ever done has been a waste.Tony's thoughts at the end of Endgame. Not a Fix-It just a channel for my feelings.





	Not Wasted

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've posted in 11 years and fanfiction writing conventions have changed since then so please be kind with your criticism.  
> This is extremely self-indulgent as I process my grief. It is written in a sort of free-form and pseudo-stream- of- consciousness style.  
> I do not feel that I got Tony's personality across appropriately, but he's not exactly his usual self at this moment. It's also my first time writing Tony so I am doing my BEST.

Tony is slumped against something twisted and metal. He feels weak all over and his ears have popped. No wait. Not popped.  It was getting quieter. Not just the quiet of Thanos’s army falling silent as they disappeared into dust- everything was muffled. Everything hurt.

Oh.

This was it then.  

But did they win? He flicks his eyes over the battlefield. Did they do it? Were they safe? He can’t move, can’t seem to call out. God he is tired, he’s so tired. He registers the thud of someone landing in front of him.

“Little late, platypus.” He means to say it, but he can’t say it. He can’t shift to look at him properly and he is too tired to try. Rhodey doesn’t say anything, but then again, he doesn’t have to. Tony knows he must look as bad as he feels.

Rhodey‘s grip on his shoulder is firm but gentle. It feels the same as when he had reached for him while they knelt in the hot Afghanistan sand. James has always been there when Tony has had enough. Tony is too tired and too dazed to reach back. He can’t seem to get his eyes to focus enough to bring his familiar face into view.

Is this dying?

Suddenly he is jostled by a blur of red and blue and gold. The movement makes his side ache dully and he distantly remembers Bruce’s mangled arm. That should probably be hurting more.

“Mr. Stark…Mr. Stark???  Tony!?”

Tony is so tired.  He’s scaring the kid, he knows, but he couldn’t move if he tried. He can’t even blink. So, he lets the muffled voice of the kid, his kid, wash over him. If nothing else, he had managed to get Peter back. Pete is going to grow up and be amazing and Morgan- Oh Morgan is going to love him.

But Tony’s not going to see that… is he?

He won’t see either of them grow up. Not Peter. Not even his baby girl.  Where is she? Pepper had joined the fighting so where was Pep now? Does Happy have Morgan? Is she safe?  

Before he can even try to form her name on his lips, the person he needs is in front of him.

Pepper.

Come to his rescue. Like always.

She kneels in front of him and part of the ache in his chest eases to know that the three people in front of him are alive.  He can’t hear himself as he whispers to Pep. Everything feels so quiet now. The world is dimming and he is exhausted, but he forces himself to look at her freckled face.

“I love you,” he thinks, he hopes he manages to express it “I love you so much.”  

He rests his face in the palm of her hand. As his world tunnels down to only the soft feel of her skin against his cheek, he strains to hear her words.

“We’re ok. We’re all going to be ok. Okay, Tony? We’re ok.  You can rest now.”

She always did know what to say.

The ache in his body lifts away and it is quiet.

.

.

.

“You told me you had no family, Stark.” Tony’s eyes fly open. He’d know that voice anywhere. He looks up at the kind face of the man who once saved his life.

“Yinsen.” Tony whispers.

Yinsen’s eyes crinkle behind his spectacles. He’s holding his hand out to Tony, offering to help him up. Behind him, it is blindingly bright.

Squinting and confused Tony takes his hand and allows himself to be pulled to standing. Wait a minute that arm was- He looks down and sees that he has stepped out of his own body, which is still slumped against rubble, cradled by Pepper, surrounded by Peter and Rhodey.

“Wha-?” He looks back at Yinsen who is smiling sadly. “She is right, Stark. They will be alright.” He puts a gentle hand on Tony’s back and lightly pushes him forward. Tony takes a step forward. Yinsen’s hand rubs his shoulder comfortingly.

“You did not waste it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Look I know he said something to Pepper but I CANNOT remember it because I was the stifling my crying because this 27 y.o,. baby was the only one crying in the theater. I hope this is meaningful to someone else. The Iron Man movies have been my go-to comfort movies through the roughest decade of my life. I feel strangely like I have lost someone even though I know Tony Stark isn't real.  
> What can I say?  
> I'm just sad.


End file.
